IN camera editing evaluation

Evaluation 

The task was to explain a story which people will understand with out using final cut pro to see how good the video would turn out to be, to make this video we had to pause stop and record.
We used a range of shots to explain the story we used close ups face to face ,extreme close up ,over the shoulder shot to show when the person was moving and when the person was talking, we also used point of view .i feel that the areas that need improving are the sound because it was too noisy where we shot the video ,also we needed it to speak a bit louder because you cant really hear what the people are saying in the video.
if i could edit i would improve the back round noise also i would add some music to make it sound a bit more better and entertaining because music really explains the story more better and gives you a good drama scene.